Blue Envelopes
by FezWearingBanana
Summary: Who is this stranger handing out Blue letters? And why? What is so important that he is hopping across time and space to find one man: The Doctor. Bad summary but please R&R if you have the time :D
1. Time and Space Hopping

**A/N So this is a quick-ish story spawned from a dream I had last night ... Weird, I know, I have such a messed up mind. I just thought it would be funny to see what happened at the Doctors 1000****th**** birthday! Obviously mayhem, knowing him/them! So... Anywhoo, I hope you enjoy it, and if you'd like to please review or check out my other stories. Shameless propaganda I know! ;) oh, and sorry for calling them/him by their numbers, but with all these "Doctors" its uber confuzzling"**

**Ooh, and there's a virtual cookie for anyone who can name me all the "episodes" I sent 11 too :) Or for anyone who deciphers my number pattern ... **

**Disclaimer: To the tune of **_**Can't touch this**_

**Unlike the people,**

**At the BBC,**

**I'm disclaiming this story,**

**So you can't sue me!**

**I may be writing fanfic,**

**But I still want you to know, **

**That I don't own,**

**No characters,**

**No matter where I go!**

**Can't touch this! Etc ... :D**

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"There!" Said 11, to nobody in particular, unless the TARDIS counts, "That's the last one done!" He shuddered at his dry tongue and the taste of envelope glue. Now I should be around about the 15th century, in ... Ooh, where was it again? Ah, thats right! Me-hi-co! I was so young back then ... So arrogant ..."

The TARDIS groaned loudly, bringing the Doctor back from his reminisce.

"We've landed! Thanks old girl." He said fondly, rubbing the coral walls of his precious machine.

Bursting out the doors, he ran straight up to a local native.

"Hello there! You look like a wonderful chap! There will be a man passing through here soon! Tall, white haired, got a cane, dressed funnily, but not like me!" He said, realising the main suspicious gaze was cast on him. "Anyway, would you be a good chap and give this to him?" He handed the man a bright blue envelope, so blue there was only one way to describe it. TARDIS blue.

The man cautiously took the parcel, and nodding slowly backed away from the intruder and his magic box. Maybe he's a god, he thought, for only the god's have magic, and he might be angered if I do not follow his commands! He hastily bowed, and ran off through the jungle.

"I always did like those natives, even when they tried to worship me ..." 11 mused. "But I must press on, 9 more stops to make!" Grinning boyishly, he disappeared inside the blue box, and with a Vvrorp-Kssht-Dom it dematerialized from existence.

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2070, The Moon.

A familiar blue box, oddly out of place, landed. A head poked out, checking where it was. It was followed by a body, dressed in tweed.

"Who on Moon are you?" Snorted a familiar, if unfriendly face.

"Ah, Hobson! What a displeasure it is to see you again!"

"How have you managed to enter a restricted Moonbase facility? Are you even authorised? And do I even know you?"

"Not yet, but you will," the man replied cryptically. "In the mean time, you wouldn't mind delivering this for me, would you? 3 men and a woman are going to come along in about, ooh, half an hour say? Yeah, sounds about right! If you could just give this," He thrusted a startlingly blue envelope towards the man, the exact same shade his box was. "To one of them, the short one with the bushy hair, probably a hat, and, oh yeah, a recorder!" The man beamed.

"I certainly do not see why I should partake in any of your absurd indulg-"

"Well, here's the deal. I'll remove this blue box from your premises if you agree to deliver this message"

"Well, I don't see how I can trust this stowaway ..."

"Fine then, I'll have to leave this blue box right where it is ..."

"Fine! Bushy hair you say? Done! Now just take this monstrosity ..."

But the man was already gone, leaving nothing but a faint breeze and an odd noise.

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The shocked guard stood there.

This was a high security prison. A blue box couldn't just appear. Literally. Materialised from thin air. He was even more surprised when a man strolled out with an air of nostalgia.

"I remember this place! That god awful cell! Ha, I never thought I'd be back here!" He noticed the trembling guard with his gun trained firmly on him. "Erm, your not going to use that are you? I'd hate to regenerate on my 1000th birthday! Where'd the fun in that be? I just wanted to deliver mail to one of the inmates!"

"Sir, how did that blue box just-"

"Oh never mind that! I've got far more important things to do! Like this," He said, rummaging around and producing an envelope from a pocket that was far too small for it. "If you could just run along and give this to him. Um, tall, big hair, foppish ..." He listed, gesturing wildly with his hands. "Bit arrogant, and should be with a nice blonde lady. Know the one? Good, off you pop now" Giving the unfortunate guard a push and dropping the letter into his hands.

Grudgingly the guard walked off. Then he stopped, and remembered something.

"Sir, what's your name?" He called down an empty corridor filled with nothing but a breeze.

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I stepped out, savouring the beating sun and the feel of sand beneath my feet. The perfect occasion to wear my fez. It was 1911, if I remember, and I stood, gazing out over the Egyptian pyramids.

"Excuse me sir?" I looked up, shielding my eyes with my hand. "Can I interest you in a lovely camel? They are very cheap and make the perfect pet!" The small Egyptian tradesman looked up at me, grinning with all of his three teeth.

I glanced over at one of the camels who raised its lip at me before sending a shower of spit globules my way. Great.

"No thanks," I muttered, "But you could do me a favour my friend. How about earning some cash?"

"I don't do dangerous dealings sir, unless the price is very good ..." He said shiftily.

I smiled, pulling out another blue envelope, "Nothing too dangerous! Just deliver this to a bloke who'll be passing through. You won't miss him, all teeth and curls, and that scarf! And if you do, the rewards are great" I tossed him a gold artefact with some blue stone embedded in it at him. It was probably enough that he'd never have to sell camels again.

His lit up as he caught the trinket. "Of course sir, I shall not fail you!" And he hurried away in the direction of the pyramids.

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The butler opened the door.

"Hello there, I was wondering if you could tell me the date!"

Obviously another nutter.

"It is the 10th of June in the year of our Lord 1925, is there something I can assist you with?"

"June, the old girl was spot on again," The man mused before flashing the butler a smile and continuing, "I believe tomorrow a man will come and visit, blonde hair, looks like a cricketer, celery stick .. I never did understand the celery ... You can't miss him!"

"And, sir?" The butler patiently prompted.

"Well, could you deliver this to him? Thanks, it would mean a lot!"

"Of course sir, is there anythi-"

But the man was gone.

A faint noise was heard in the distant.

The butler sighed and closed the door.

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Varos, Cetes.

A rebel runs through the street, looking terrified over his shoulder. And smack-bang into a blue box. A blue box in the middle of the street.

A man pokes his head out, wordless thrusting a blue square at him.

"A man's coming. He'll stand out. Mismatched clothes. Blonde curls. I'm trusting you to deliver this message to him."

"Is this part of the rebellion?"

"It is vital."

-#-

The Doctor closed the door before bursting out laughing. The look on that poor boys face. At least he knew it would get to his sixth self though.

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11 was lost. Utterly and hopelessly lost. How hard was it to find someone in Iceworld? The last time he had checked the planet Svartos was full of life. He turned, hoping at least to find himself back where the TARDIS was, but instead was bowled over by a man wearing an off white jacket and a hat. 11 groaned inwardly. All he could do was hope not to cause a paradox.

"Sorry there, are you okay? I'm afraid I was rather distracted!"

"oh yes, I'm fine..."

There was a moments pause.

"Do I know you?"

"Um, no, no, I don't think we've ever met, but we have this mutual friend you see, and they sent me to give you this letter." 11 gave 7 the blue envelope.

"Interesting choice of colour. Are you sure we haven't met, you're oddly familiar. And who's this mutual friend, eh?"

"Just, someone, who you have, will, met, meet ..."

"And what exactly is that supposed to mean?"

But the stranger in tweed had vanished.

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"Good bye Doctor," Grace Holloway said sadly, stepping away from the wonderful man hse'd only just met.

"Good bye Grace,"

He stepped away, about to enter the TARDIS when a sharp corner dug into Grace, forcing her to remember.

"Wait! Doctor!" She fished out the blue envelope. "I was told to give you this!"

8 turned, his piercing blue eyes scanning the envelope before him.

"What did he look like?"

"Tweed is the only word that can describe him."

"... I don't think I know him ..." 8 shrugged before flashing a boyish grin at Grace and running into the TARDIS. Grace caught one last "Good bye Grace" before the blue box disappeared, taking the most extraordinary man (if he could be called that) with it.

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9 had lost too much. Jabe had just burst into flames. That amazing tree woman, who had trusted him blindly, was now dead. They all died. The blade before him spun faster and faster in its pathetic attempt to combat the rising heat. Suddenly it slowed. How?

9 spun round to see a tall, tweed clad fellow holding down the lever long enough for 9 to hop across; flick the switch and return through the death-trap fans.

"Who are you?" 9 asked suspiciously

"A... a friend"

"Do you want something or what?"

"You always were too rough around the edges..."

"And whats that supposed to mean? You don't know about the-"

"All too well."

"Are you a-"

"No time for that, we can talk later. This is what I came here to give you." 11 gestured to a blue envelope in his hand.

9 reached out for it and took it, studying it carefully.

"What is this, some kind of invitation?"

But his words fell on nothing but silence, the ears meant to hear them, long since gone.

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A blue light shone in the Doctors eye.

"Species identified: Alien!"

"Yes, but ..."

"You are too be held prisoner under the 17th commandment of the Shadow proclamation!"

"But all I wanted to do was deliver this letter! I literally just landed here! I was wondering if you could help me out in that department. Would you mind dropping it off to a bloke round here? Tall, skinny, brown sticky uppy hair, pinstriped ... Oh ... And shoeless."

"Why should the Judoon follow these instructions? We have been sent here to discover the plasmavore!"

"Let's just say this bloke might lead you to it ... Not that I'd know anything about that." A blue envelope was slipped into the Judoon's huge leather glove. His tiny rhino eyes stared at the blue envelope this stranger had given too him.

He raised his head, ready to ask another question, and yet he and the blue box behind him was gone. Nothing would have told him it was there in the first place if it wasn't for a fading noise and a slight breeze. Still though, he might as well deliver it, especially if it led the Judoon force to the criminal plasmavore.

Snorting, the Judoon continued on its way.

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11 ran into the TARDIS, laughing at confusing yet another person from his past. He was fortunate though, he'd got away with only 1 timeline cross. Now he just had to hope all the letters found their way to their recipients. In the meantime, 11 had shopping to do ...

**A/N Next chapter involves shopping and letter opening ... Ooohh ... **

**~FezBanana**


	2. 26p

**A/N Here I am again! This story is waaayyyy longer than I thought it would be, but I'm gonna keep going with it anyway! Thanks for the alerts and favourites and to Matty and Lulu 7 for review! Just knowing people read this is AWESOME! And I don't watch that much Classic Who, especially as lots of it was lost in the BBC clear out thingy so I'm really sorry if my plots don't stick with the episodes or if older Doctors are OOC ... Yeah ... So ... On with the writing ... **

**My Brain: STOP PROCRASTINATING AND WRITE!**

**Me: Fine ... **

**Disclaimer: If I owned Doctor Who my dreams wouldn't just be fanfic ... They would be CANON! Muhahahaha :) **

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11 giggled girlishly as he danced around the consol. This would be so fun! He could trust no one in the universe better than himself, and yet having them all tighter would be a blast! Now for the food.

11 stared down, and down... and down at the ever increasing list that was running all over the TARDIS consol. Where on Earth was he going to find Appalapachian Grozberries ...

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15th Century, Mexican rainforest

1 strode through the sweltering jungle, using his cane to steady his way through the uneven landscape, occasionally brushing huge leaves out of his way.

He had to find Barbara, especially with that murderer Tlotoxl on the loose. And to escape his imminent marriage to a local tribeswoman, stupid human customs and that blasted cup of cocoa.

The Doctor was jolted out of his thoughts by a tribal fellow bashing into him, obviously running away from something. 1 thought he heard a strange noise in the back ground, but quickly dismissed it as jungle noises. The Aztec man looked up in fear at 1 before flinging himself on the ground and bowing profusely. Obviously another ridiculous custom.

"It is you! The one with the magic was right! He was a great traveller sent to pass the gifts of the Gods onto one such as himself!" 1 looked around. What on Gallifrey was this man babbling about? Probably one or other of their gods. 1 made to walk away before the man produced a bright blue envelope at him. The Doctors interested peaked suddenly at this strange turn of events. The venerating man before him seemed determined for him to have it, so, cautiously, 1 took the envelope and turned it over in his hands.

It was blue. TARDIS blue. Who was this mysterious traveller? Opening the package, 1 only just registered the Aztec man fleeing into the jungle around them, his curiosity now over taking any other precautions. Pulling out a thick piece of cream coloured parchment emblazoned with bright blue foil forming a border and the Earth numerical symbol for "1" Underneath was written TARDIS co-ordinates in a well practised copperplate and the message,

"_You are invited to the Doctor's 1000__th__ birthday party; I hope you can make it._

_All my love,_

_11_

_P.S. Ditch the companions!"_

Could it be that he had survived to his 11th incarnation and he was inviting himself to his own birthday party? Surely 11 would know the dangers of crossing time streams. Never the less, 1 chuckled to himself as he imagined what he might look like in the future. Maybe he would go to the occasion after all. It certainly would be ... Interesting.

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11 careered wildly around a neat pyramid of baked beans laughing madly as he raced the out-of-control trolley around the interior maze of a super market. A small part of him wondered why Amy had never let him go shopping before. It was exhilarating! All that racing and swerving and afterwards he could enjoy Fish Custard. How could shopping ever be a bad thing.

"Sir," An enormous man loomed into the Doctors view, obviously a security guard. 11 dug his heels into the floor in an attempt to stop, but realised too late that he really couldn't change the laws of physics.

CRASH!

From a tangled mess of arms and legs the security guard looked up, a packet of fish fingers balanced precariously on his head...

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10 staggered along the corridor holding the limp body of Martha Jones, that wonderful lady who had given the last of her air to him. Silently he willed the Judoon to leave. Why were they taking so long?

The last Judoon of the 16th Interplanetary Platoon stood by the ridiculously normal rotating door.

10 summoned the last of his strength. "Why haven't you gone yet?"

"You led us to the plasmavore."

"Yes, and now people are going to die unless you leave!"

"I was told to give you this," The Judoon held out a blue envelope that seemed impossibly small compared to its 4 huge digits.

Warily the Doctor took the envelope, eyeing it suspiciously before returning his gaze to the Judoon, who no longer stood there. Instead the last of the Judoon fleet took off, allowing 1o the small relief that the humans in this hospital would be safe. For now.

**-oOo-**

Turning, 10 saw Martha Jones staring at him and his little blue box from across the street. Maybe he would take her with him? But not now, he had to have a little more time before he would feel ready to forget Rose. Stepping inside the TARDIS he dematerialised from existence. Only then did he remember the strange envelope the Judoon had given him. He tore into it like a small child at Christmas to reveal a decorated piece of parchment emblazed with the letter 10. Underneath was a jumble of numbers, resembling TARDIS co-ordinates, and the message,

"_You are invited to the Doctor's 1000__th__ birthday party; I hope you can make it._

_All my love,_

_11_

_P.S. Ditch the companions!"_

10 chuckled to himself. His own 1000th birthday, and from the numbering system all of him was invited! "Ditch the companions"? What trouble were they getting into this time? Setting the TARDIS co-ordinates 10 couldn't help but think of the fun they would have.

Martha could wait.

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11 was going mad.

The constant bleeping of the checkout machine was driving him insane. And as if that wasn't enough he had to stand still. It was torture.

Finally the last item was passed over the scanner and 11 eagerly awated by his 3 shopping trolleys, full to bursting with bags.

"Thats £517.26." Said the cashier, a (now) exhausted blonde lady.

11 handed over an impossibly enormous wad of notes.

"Keep the change ... I always wanted to say that!"

Then a thought struck him.

Where the hell was he going to get 26p from?

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5 looked around the huge old manor before noticing the butler staring at him intently.

"Excuse me, sir, but is that celery your wearing?"

"Indeed it is," replied 5, giving the man a hard stare that said 'Back off from the vegetable!"

"He was right! But how?"

"Sorry?"

"Well sir, a strange man came here yesterday and asked me to deliver this," He produced a blue envelope from a silver letter rack, "To a man exactly like you!"

"But that's impossible ... Unless ... Can I have a look?"

"By all means sir." The butler shuffled off after handing 5 the shockingly blue envelope. 5 studied it carefully, before gently prising up a corner to make it wasn't booby trapped. When he was satisfied it wasn't going to cause him an early regeneration, 5 carefully and meticulously opened the parcel, and took out what seemed to be an invitation of some kind. Along with a list of letters it read,

"_You are invited to the Doctor's 1000__th__ birthday party; I hope you can make it._

_All my love,_

_11_

_P.S. Ditch the companions!"_

5 didn't know whether it was some cunning plan by the master, or whether he really had survived to his 11th regeneration. Might as well check it out, he thought, think of the blast we had at my 500th!

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Where was Rory when you needed him?

11 stumbled back to the TARDIS holding up more bags than he thought possible. It was the Jelly Babies, he was sure. They were like a dead weight in 3 of his 29 shopping bags.

So much for superior Timelord biology.

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The blue envelope lay discarded on top of the consol.

8 lay back in his arm chair and picked up the book he had been reading only a few hours previously.

"Knowing that you're not here,

But what can I do?

Its over for you,

And still my – my – my – my – my"

8 jumped out of his seat where he'd comfortably been finishing The Time Machine by H.G. Wells. Curse that old gramophone and its dodgy needle. Leaning over to correct it, his eye was caught by a bright blue envelope in amongst the TARDIS' wires and lights.

"What's this then, eh? I've must have forgotten about it!"

Picking it up, he opened it with a flick of his long, clever fingers revealing a rectangle of creamy paper, inlayed with blue foil. A clutter of numbers including a bold 8 in the same blue inlay was followed by the short message,

"_You are invited to the Doctor's 1000__th__ birthday party; I hope you can make it._

_All my love,_

_11_

_P.S. Ditch the companions!"_

Maybe this was something else 8 couldn't remember. Puzzled, he set the TARDIS co-ordinates before launching the tiny blue box into the swirling mass of the Vortex.

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Triumphantly 11 shut the doors of his beloved box, staring down at the mess of plastic and party food before him. At least he'd done it. Now for the hard bit. Actually arranging the food ...

**A/N I know! I haven't done all the doctors but I didn't want this to start to get boring soo ... Yeah. Hope you enjoyed it and stuff! If you could review that'd be great, if not just you reading it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside! Byeee ... See you in the next update!**

**(My Brain: This is your fault!**

**Me: What? How?**

**Brain: All that procrastinating meant you could even do 10 mini stories! Shameful! And then you came up with lame excuses!**

**Me: Did not!**

**Brain: Did too!**

**... I don't know how long I'm gonna be here arguing with myself ...) **


	3. Oops :S

**A/N Ok, so, this is another a/n thingy that I'm posting on both my current stories. I have fractured my wrist. Which means 6 weeks of using only one hand. And while I can type, it is slow and makes my non fractured hand cold. Basically I shall try very very hard to update but I don't want to hurt my wrist more sooo ... yeah. Sorry guys.**

**Last Note;**

**DON'T GO ROLLER-SKATING!**

**OVER AND OUT**

**~FezBanana**


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